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Archive for the ‘Parodies’ Category

The Trailer for Every Oscar Winning Movie Ever

Sunday, March 7, 2010 1 comment

This seems appropriate, right before the Oscars. 😀

Trufax!

Source: http://www.cracked.com

A Frozen Flower, the parody

Wednesday, August 26, 2009 7 comments

So, the formal review will be up at dramabeans.com, yay for me actually pulling myself together enough to write again. But I know you’re not here to listen to me whinge, so here’s something funny for you to take home.

Also: strong R warning for language. Adult movie = adult recap.

Frozen Flower, the parody

Ahem.

PROLOGUE, SO THE PLEBES WILL UNDERSTAND: In the year of Tumpty-tumpty-tumpty-one there was a king who wanted to rule a happy realm full of well-fed people, kittens, puppies, and rainbow sparklepires. Well, what he got was a pretty troop of cute boys all in purple because the evil Mongolian nomads of the Yuan dynasty were oppressing (read: being stronger than) the noble and long-suffering country of Goryeo. They functioned as royal bodyguards and generally beat the crap out of anyone who twitched incorrectly at the king.
AUDIENCE: … You could have just said he wanted a reverse harem.
PROLOGUE: LOOK, I DON’T WRITE THIS STUFF, OKAY? Moving on!!
ME: Incidentally this is also the last bit of historical stuff in the movie. So sit back and enjoy, guys.

Proving that guys really only do have one thing on the mind…

Criminal Minds in a Superficial Nutshell

Friday, April 3, 2009 3 comments

Criminal Minds. Oh god. Possibly the best TV show out there, or at least it is trying, with the Plot Continuity, Character and Thematic Arcs, Meaningful Debates on the Nature of Good and Evil, Great Acting by Main Cast and Guest Stars, and Metatextual References Like You Would Not Believe.

Also? The cast is bloody gorgeous.

2 examples:

(Obviously I’m biased in favour of the guys, but the girls are equally stunning. Really.)

There are 4 seasons, totaling 84 episodes (and more, as there are still at least 5 more left to the fourth season, and season 5 has been confirmed).

Oh man. I have no sense of self-preservation. Seriously, someone should just lock me in a room with my textbooks or I will never learn which limb of the loop of Henle is responsible for water resorption.

With the number of episodes and the complex, layered nature of the show, I opted for a more tongue-in-cheek look at the average episode of Criminal Minds.

Read on for ALLCAPS and general levity…

Twilight in 15 Minutes… That-a-way

Tuesday, November 25, 2008 5 comments

Have I told anyone lately that Cleolinda Jones is made of Awesomesauce? No? Well, there ya go.

She is made of awesome, and what’s more, she’s written out Twilight the movie in condensed form for your edification and fun. 😀 😀 😀

Warning: Do not eat/drink while reading her recap, you (and nearby objects/people) will regret it.

Some of my fav quotes:

BELLA: We’re gonna be all right, pet cactus. We’re gonna be all right.

[Also, James has no shirt. This is important. I mean, just for life in general.]

BELLA: And that was the first night I dreamed of Edward Cullen, although for some reason I chose to imagine him lurking in the corner of my room like a complete psychopath.
[Honey, that’s what you think.]

EDWARD: SAY MY NAME, BITCH
BELLA: EDWARD
EDWARD: NO, THE OTHER ONE
BELLA: ASSHOLE
EDWARD: NO, THE OTHER ONE
BELLA: VAMPIRE, OKAY? VAMPIRE

TWILIGHT FANS: ZOMG HIS COUCH IS NOT BLACK AND BELLA IS NOT WEARING A BLUE V-NECK AND–
HARRY POTTER FANS: *FLAMETHROWER*

JAMES: YOU BROUGHT A SNACK.
EDWARD: *DRAMATIC PRAIRIE DOG*

BELLA: What… what happened?
BELLA’S MOM: Well, you ran away from home and that nice Cullen family went after you but then you fell down two flights of stairs in the hotel. And through a window. A closed window. Now, how the piano and the anvil fell on you after that, I don’t know. Look! That pretty Cullen boy has been watching you sleep the whole time!
BELLA: Yeah… he does that.

~o~o~o~

Read Twilight in 15 Minutes here.

I will probably not do my own parodycap of the movie. I mean, aren’t you people tired of me ranting about Twilight yet? (Also, Cleo clearly owns.) ;D

Sevenses

[ETA: Also, these things called exams, they are sort of here and totally laying waste to my brain.]

Categories: Movies, Parodies Tags: ,

Hana Yori Dango Finale

Tuesday, November 18, 2008 9 comments

I wanted to do a serious write-up, but then I realized that most of it would involve “Then Tsukasa looked at Tsukushi with yearning, though she didn’t notice because she was off on another angstfest.” And that would not be fun at all. So, parodycap it is, though I love the series very much, it is prone to overdramatization and thus easy to mock.

wedding yay

Well, I think you already knew this was coming, so you know, not really a spoiler. I’m going to miss my mindlessly gratifying shoujo moments, aren’t I? (Don’t really want to watch the Kr version, will probably just read javabeans’ recaps.)

Arashi – One Love : This is the song that plays at the end of the movie. [Download]

Hana Yori Dango Finale, a parodycap:

Clicky for the stuff of your nonsensical daydreams…

Painted Skin, a parody

Saturday, November 15, 2008 8 comments

Because I mock things for fun? Parody/recap of the recently released movie Painted Skin, in which lots of hot people starred and abuse of ancient ghost/horror stories was central to the plot.

So, just as a refresher (if you want the entire plot of the original story, please go here):

Vicki Zhao is Pei Rong, wife of Wang Sheng (also foremost cosmetics dealer in the city – hey, people would probably kill for her complexion)
Chen Kun is Wang Sheng, leader of the city troops (and … not much else, as it appears)
Donnie Yen is Pang Yong, a martial arts expert (who really, really likes his rice vodka)
Zhou Xun is Xiao Wei, an innocently beguiling young lady… or is she?
Sun Li is Xia Bing, a demon hunter (it sounds more glorious than it is)
Qi Yuwu plays Xiao Yi, a salamander demon (it means he eats flies, people)

Painted Skin, a parodycap:

Clicky for spazzing, sarcasm, and a bit of plot…

Breaking Dawn, recap

Thursday, August 7, 2008 11 comments

All hail the great Cleolinda Jones, who writes better than I do on the subject, but anyway, I couldn’t resist expounding forth on this wonderful 768-page megalith. It will offer me much snorfling in moments of need. Also, needed to get this off my chest. It’s probably not as funny as the other one, but what the hell. The writing quality was better.

Please do enjoy. Flames will be used to make yummy omelette. Warning for lots of capslock abuse, mild language, and definite sporkage of a series that takes itself way too seriously.

Dedicated to Stacy, who loves to mock Twilight (and mock it hard), and Arileen, twihard extraordinaire (where are my Nessi gingerbreads?!).

Have a song while you read: The Aftereffects of May, Belle Epoque

Breaking Dawn – a mockumentary

Preface

Bella: Hi, it’s me, THREATENING TO DIE. (Again.)
Reader 1: I have a feeling I’ve seen this.
Reader 2: I preferred Harry Potter’s brand of near-death, thanks.
Reader 3: Dude, we have 768 pages to go. What’s to bet she’s going to live?
All: Forgot about that.

Book one – Bella

Bella: OMG NOOOOOOOOOOOO WHY ALL THIS ATTENTION, I DO NOT MERIT IT, I ONLY HAVE A REALLY EXPENSIVE UNRELEASED CAR, ACCEPTANCE TO AN IVY LEAGUE THAT I DID NOT EARN, A BLACK CARD AND A HOT BOYFRIEND WHO GIVES ME WHAT I WANT (AND WHAT I DON’T WANT, ON OCCASION). WOE.
Tourists: Chill, woman. Also, can we take piccies?
Bella: WHY AM I DOOMED TO A LIFE OF SCRUTINY?!
Forks: We have no lives and thus feel compelled to stare at a black car. Ooh shiny.
Reader: … 7 pages of …? This is what I paid for?

Read more…