Home > Movies, Parodies > Twilight in 15 Minutes… That-a-way

Twilight in 15 Minutes… That-a-way

Tuesday, November 25, 2008 Leave a comment Go to comments

Have I told anyone lately that Cleolinda Jones is made of Awesomesauce? No? Well, there ya go.

She is made of awesome, and what’s more, she’s written out Twilight the movie in condensed form for your edification and fun. πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

Warning: Do not eat/drink while reading her recap, you (and nearby objects/people) will regret it.

Some of my fav quotes:

BELLA: We’re gonna be all right, pet cactus. We’re gonna be all right.

[Also, James has no shirt. This is important. I mean, just for life in general.]

BELLA: And that was the first night I dreamed of Edward Cullen, although for some reason I chose to imagine him lurking in the corner of my room like a complete psychopath.
[Honey, that’s what you think.]

EDWARD: SAY MY NAME, BITCH
BELLA: EDWARD
EDWARD: NO, THE OTHER ONE
BELLA: ASSHOLE
EDWARD: NO, THE OTHER ONE
BELLA: VAMPIRE, OKAY? VAMPIRE

TWILIGHT FANS: ZOMG HIS COUCH IS NOT BLACK AND BELLA IS NOT WEARING A BLUE V-NECK AND–
HARRY POTTER FANS: *FLAMETHROWER*

JAMES: YOU BROUGHT A SNACK.
EDWARD: *DRAMATIC PRAIRIE DOG*

BELLA: What… what happened?
BELLA’S MOM: Well, you ran away from home and that nice Cullen family went after you but then you fell down two flights of stairs in the hotel. And through a window. A closed window. Now, how the piano and the anvil fell on you after that, I don’t know. Look! That pretty Cullen boy has been watching you sleep the whole time!
BELLA: Yeah… he does that.

~o~o~o~

Read Twilight in 15 Minutes here.

I will probably not do my own parodycap of the movie. I mean, aren’t you people tired of me ranting about Twilight yet? (Also, Cleo clearly owns.) ;D

Sevenses

[ETA: Also, these things called exams, they are sort of here and totally laying waste to my brain.]

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Categories: Movies, Parodies Tags: ,
  1. Anonymous
    Wednesday, November 26, 2008 at 10:18 pm

    All hail Cleolinda!! That has to be one of the funniest things I’ve read about Twilight yet…
    Am officially going to rent (bootleg? *gasp!*) the movie just to poke the funny
    aka, don’t feel like wasting $5+ to go see ridiculousness πŸ˜€

  2. Wednesday, November 26, 2008 at 10:19 pm

    Once again, another of my comments not accredited to me. Wherefore, WordPress? WHEREFORE?? (lol sorry for the off-topic)

  3. nina
    Friday, January 30, 2009 at 8:54 am

    I creased for like twenty minutes after that! Genius!

  4. Friday, March 5, 2010 at 5:20 pm

    Great Blog!……There’s always something here to make me laugh…Keep doing what ya do πŸ™‚

  5. mirical
    Tuesday, March 29, 2011 at 6:41 pm

    yr an ass hole ps edward sounded sexy wen u made him say bitch umm i just think hes sexy

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