This seems appropriate, right before the Oscars.
Have I told anyone lately that Cleolinda Jones is made of Awesomesauce? No? Well, there ya go.
She is made of awesome, and what’s more, she’s written out Twilight the movie in condensed form for your edification and fun.
Warning: Do not eat/drink while reading her recap, you (and nearby objects/people) will regret it.
Some of my fav quotes:
BELLA: We’re gonna be all right, pet cactus. We’re gonna be all right.
[Also, James has no shirt. This is important. I mean, just for life in general.]
BELLA: And that was the first night I dreamed of Edward Cullen, although for some reason I chose to imagine him lurking in the corner of my room like a complete psychopath.
[Honey, that's what you think.]
EDWARD: SAY MY NAME, BITCH
EDWARD: NO, THE OTHER ONE
EDWARD: NO, THE OTHER ONE
BELLA: VAMPIRE, OKAY? VAMPIRE
TWILIGHT FANS: ZOMG HIS COUCH IS NOT BLACK AND BELLA IS NOT WEARING A BLUE V-NECK AND–
HARRY POTTER FANS: *FLAMETHROWER*
JAMES: YOU BROUGHT A SNACK.
EDWARD: *DRAMATIC PRAIRIE DOG*
BELLA: What… what happened?
BELLA’S MOM: Well, you ran away from home and that nice Cullen family went after you but then you fell down two flights of stairs in the hotel. And through a window. A closed window. Now, how the piano and the anvil fell on you after that, I don’t know. Look! That pretty Cullen boy has been watching you sleep the whole time!
BELLA: Yeah… he does that.
Read Twilight in 15 Minutes here.
I will probably not do my own parodycap of the movie. I mean, aren’t you people tired of me ranting about Twilight yet? (Also, Cleo clearly owns.) ;D
[ETA: Also, these things called exams, they are sort of here and totally laying waste to my brain.]
I wanted to do a serious write-up, but then I realized that most of it would involve “Then Tsukasa looked at Tsukushi with yearning, though she didn’t notice because she was off on another angstfest.” And that would not be fun at all. So, parodycap it is, though I love the series very much, it is prone to overdramatization and thus easy to mock.
Well, I think you already knew this was coming, so you know, not really a spoiler. I’m going to miss my mindlessly gratifying shoujo moments, aren’t I? (Don’t really want to watch the Kr version, will probably just read javabeans’ recaps.)
Arashi – One Love : This is the song that plays at the end of the movie. [Download]
Hana Yori Dango Finale, a parodycap:
Because I mock things for fun? Parody/recap of the recently released movie Painted Skin, in which lots of hot people starred and abuse of ancient ghost/horror stories was central to the plot.
So, just as a refresher (if you want the entire plot of the original story, please go here):
Vicki Zhao is Pei Rong, wife of Wang Sheng (also foremost cosmetics dealer in the city – hey, people would probably kill for her complexion)
Chen Kun is Wang Sheng, leader of the city troops (and … not much else, as it appears)
Donnie Yen is Pang Yong, a martial arts expert (who really, really likes his rice vodka)
Zhou Xun is Xiao Wei, an innocently beguiling young lady… or is she?
Sun Li is Xia Bing, a demon hunter (it sounds more glorious than it is)
Qi Yuwu plays Xiao Yi, a salamander demon (it means he eats flies, people)
Painted Skin, a parodycap: