Track list:
1. 小城故事 (Tales of a Small Town)
2. 特別 (Special)
3. HIGH歌 (HIGH Song)
4. 愛壞 (Love Bad)
5. 原諒 (Forgive)
6. 騎士 (Knight)
7. 太后 (Dowager Queen)
8. 癢 (Itch)
9. 不怕痛 (Don’t Fear Pain)
10. 靈芝緣 (Spirit’s Fate) featuring Zhao Zhi-gang, a master of Chinese Yue opera

[Megaupload]

It’s almost certainly going to end in flames and suicide threats (the drama, not me). Lay your bets, people!

You can tell she’s barely restraining herself from kicking him in the shins.

Summer’s Desire, Episode 1
- In which Sevenses tries not to slit her wrists at the bad dialogue

PROLOGUE: It was a dark and stormy night!
ME: No it wasn’t, it was just two guys rolling around on the road trying to punch each other, geez.
ALL: … That doesn’t actually sound too bad.
PROLOGUE: ANYWAY, PEOPLE, THERE IS ANGST.
ALL: [insert eyeroll]
MALE LEADS: ALAS, WE HAVE BAD HAIR.
PICTURE: SIGNIFICANT CLOSEUP IS SIGNIFICANT.

Department of backstory, t = -5 years

LUO XI (Huang XIaoming): I don’t like you!
YIN XIA-MO (Barbie Xu): I don’t like you either!
LUO XI: Fine!
XIA MO: Fine!
LUO XI: FINE!
XIA MO: FINER!
LUO XI: So… you won’t rethink your decision to not date me?
XIA MO: Psh, no.
LUO XI: … And you won’t miss me?
XIA MO: COME BACK WITH YOUR SHIELD OR ON IT, BUSTER.

Airport of abysmal security, present

LUO XI: I AM AWESOME!
ASSISTANT: HEM HEM!
LUO XI: AND CHARMING.
FANS: SWOON!

Elsewhere…

XIA MO: Hardworking orphan trying to support her younger brother here, nothing to look at.
JIANG ZHEN-EN: As best friend I support you no matter what, even if I do drag you into random bad jobs like being personal assistants to the most self-centred whackos in the world.
BITCHY ACTRESS: IS BITCHY

A day in the life of two attractive, talented orphans

YIN CHENG: ILU BIG SIS!
XIA MO: ILU2!

Meanwhile, in France…

OU CHEN (Peter Ho): I have nightmares about girls wearing green hairbands, okay?! My psychologist says it’s Freudian.
GIRLFRIEND: That’s okay, you have a billion-dollar business with which to pay the therapy bills.
OU CHEN: I … don’t think I like you.

OU CHEN: I am a mean, mean bastard.
GF: OMFG STOP SHOOTING AT ME.
OU CHEN: I DON’T FEEL PAAAAAAAIN. WHAT IS THIS ABSENCE WHERE MY HEART IS. AM I A ROBOT?
GF: [cries]
BUTLER: …
OU CHEN: YOU’RE SUCH A WIMP, GEEZ. THIS GIRL I KNEW WHEN I WAS LITTLE TOTALLY PUT UP WITH ME SHOOTING AT HER. I FIRE YOU!
GF: … I’m your girlfriend, you psycho! You can’t fire girlfriends!
ME: It’s just so bizarre to see Qi Wei as the meek and much-abused girlfriend when I’ve just finished Mei Ren Xin Ji, where she totally deposed a crown prince with the power of her brain.

ME: The death-match of talentos!
XIA MO: Oh god I hate this.
MANAGERS & SUNDRY UNIMPORTANT PERSONS: So we’re only picking two debuting singers, and only one of them gets to duet with the hottest star ever!
ALL: … yay?
MANAGERS: IT’S LUO XI, BITCHES!
XIA MO: [facepalm]
PAN NAN: My fierce bob will defeat all!

Convenience store of low taste

POSTERS: [smarm]
XIA MO: SO. MUCH. HATE.

The land of sepia, t = -5 years, minutes before Xia-mo unveiled her right hook

LUO XI: THIS ALWAYS WORKS!
XIA MO: MMPH!
ME: Do you want a slow-mo montage?

…

ME: Okay, guys, go crazy.

XIA MO: You can’t tell, but I’m bitchslapping you in my head.
LUO XI: That’s what they’re calling it these days?
XIA MO: HATE.

THE FAIRY OF BACKSTORY: So apparently you and Luo Xi went to the same high school, and then college, never pausing to change uniforms, until one day he mysterious vanished and became a huge star in Asia?
ME: Too old for high school, population: 2

LUO XI: I am Luo Xi, protagonist and terribly hot, which is all you need to know, really.
RANDOM GIRL: SQUEE!
LUO XI: Thank you for the chocolates!
RANDOM GIRL: [runs off]
LUO XI: [dumps into garbage]

XIA MO: I SAW THAT.
LUO XI: Like what you see?
XIA MO: EXCEPT FOR THAT PART WHERE YOU’RE AN ASSHOLE WHO KISSES GIRLS RANDOMLY.
LUO XI: I have abandonment issues, what?!
XIA MO: I HATE YOU. SO MUCH.

RANDOM GIRL: GUESS WHO KISSED ME!!
GIRL POSSE: [beatdown]
LUO XI: I … don’t remember you.
GIRL POSSE: [continue beatdown]
RANDOM GIRL: [cries]

XIA MO: Hem hem.
GIRL POSSE: HER STEALTH GLARE IS DEADLY.
XIA MO: AS IS MY MYSTERIOUSLY POWERFUL BOYFRIEND.
ME: Having a psychotic rich boyfriend is never a good sign, bb.
GIRL POSSE: [run away]
XIA MO: You there, with the crying. Shut up.

LUO XI: I’m in your house, stealing your parents!
XIA MO: WHAT DADDY NO.
LUO XI: Aren’t your parents nice, taking in orphans and raising them?
MAMA & PAPA YIN: We have such excellent children! And they get along so well! How was your day, darling?
LUO XI: Hi!
XIA MO: Hurt my brother and I’ll cut you.

LUO XI: MUHAHAHAHA!
MANAGERS: …
LUO XI: YOU WILL BE MINE, XIA MO!
MANAGER A: He’s looking at the list of new talentos, right?
MANAGER B: … yeeeeah?
MANAGER A: He’s been there for a while, d’you think he wants food?
LUO XI: HFFCHU!
MANAGER B: Let’s not risk it.

Casa de Yin

XIA MO: YOU MADE MY DAD USE MY BROTHER’S ART PRIZE TO BUY YOU A GUITAR???
LUO XI: [smirk]
XIA MO: I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!
LUO XI: You and whose army?
XIA MO: AAAARGH!
DAD: …
LUO XI: As a fellow singer and musician, I suggest you don’t do that to your voice.

YIN CHENG: I don’t mind! Really! Have a drawing!
LUO XI: Wow. I look hot.
XIA MO: HOW ARE YOU THIS EGOISTICAL??
YIN CHENG: But he really is, sis. Anyway, gotta go to art class.
XIA MO: You’d better not break his heart.
LUO XI: Who, me?
XIA MO: OMG YOU THREW HIS DRAWING AWAY YOU BASTARD DIE!
ME: Xia Mo actually doesn’t say anything, she just glares. But they’re pretty, uh, transparent in meaning.

PAN NAN: Look at us! Fast friends already!
XIA MO: I know, it’s like we knew each other before or something!
ME: I think I forgot what Barbie looked like when she smiled. Wow.

LUO XI: So I have a really old friend in this group, I hope y’all haven’t been picking on her or anything.
XIA MO: [cringe]
PAN NAN: Yo, whatup, bro?
LUO XI: Hey, my girl!
ME: They totally do a fist bump. No joke.

ME: MY GOD IT’S LIKE THEY’VE NEVER HEARD OF THE CONCEPT OF SUBTLETY. ONLY EVERYONE IN THE ROOM IS GOING TO THINK THEY HAVE HISTORY. (And Current Events.)

OU CHEN: Still missing memories, nothin’ to see here.
BUTLER: Now that you’ve alternately stomped your opponents into the ground using underhanded tactics and shaken up your own corporate branches, can we please stop it with the psychotic rage?
OU CHEN: I want to go back to Taiwan.
BUTLER: But you’re in France! How can anyone want to go back to Taiwan if they’re in France??
OU CHEN: Does anything in my character description say that I make sense?
BUTLER: Point taken.

ME: L’awkward.
LUO XI: I’ve missed having you glare at me.
XIA MO: Whatever.
LUO XI: Why aren’t you living with that rich bastard and sleeping on a pillow stuffed with dollar bills?
XIA MO: Why are you such a drama queen?
LUO XI: Seriously, my dialogue sucks.
XIA MO: I know.
LUO XI: So I’m in love with you.
XIA MO: And I obviously like you, but you’re creepy and a stalker and I have trust issues when it comes to you!
LUO XI: Don’t forget masochist.
XIA MO: THAT TOO.
LUO XI: Are we just going to stare at each other all night?
XIA MO: You have a better idea?

XIA MO: So… walking out in the open for all your fans to see is somehow better?
LUO XI: Why are you such a critic?
XIA MO: You’re the one with the cheesetastic lines, remember?
LUO XI: Yeah, but at least I’m emoting!
XIA MO: You’re such a girl.
LUO XI: Seriously, where is your wealthy, possessive psycho of a boyfriend? Don’t tell me he died and I actually have a chance.
XIA MO: Dream on.
LUO XI: Well, if nothing else, you can stop tying your hair up.
XIA MO: Yeah, don’t know how I got through life without a guy whose idea of romance is the deprivation of choices. But I haven’t seen him in five years. Like you, actually.
LUO XI: I was gonna come back and be like, ‘Now I have money and sexiness, you have no chance!’
XIA MO: Pity.
LUO XI: But I’ve changed!
XIA MO: Oh really.
LUO XI: I love you, dammit!
XIA MO: That’s nice.

FANS: OMG IS THAT LUO XI??
OBLIGATORY RUNNING SCENE OF HANDHOLDING: is obligatory.

ME: Jesus your fanclub is huge.
EVERYONE: WELCOME BAAAAAACK!
OU CHEN: YOU ALL SUCK. GO HOME.
ME: Well, now we know you’re not known for your charm.

ME: I have no real excuse for these caps except that Huang Xiaoming is devastatingly pretty at all angles.
XIA MO: You do realize I don’t actually hate you?
LUO XI: REALLY??
XIA MO: I gave you a cat and everything! How is your memory this bad?
LUO XI: I though Milk was for your brother?
XIA MO: Yeah but I gave him to YOU.

SIGNIFICANT HAIR RIBBON: is significant
ME: And green.

ME: Lest we think Xia-mo has nothing to do outside of spending time with Luo Xi, she runs over to her friend Shu-er’s rescue after dance practice. I sorta see how this is going to become important later, but right now it’s just two starlets fighting over fame, scandal and using Xia-mo in the process.

ME: You know, I’m starting to like our boy here. He stalks his OTP while drinking milk! His manager quails in his presence like a peon!
LUO XI: Cancel everything.
MANAGER: Whaaaaaaaa?
LUO XI: My baby’s going up against an experienced singer in an onstage performance, and she has stage fright. I’m not going to miss supporting her.

MANAGER OF EXPOSITION: So the song Xia-mo is singing was popular a good decade ago and was penned by a beautiful bar singer after being abandoned by her lover.
ME: Are you for real?

XIA MO: [has a flashback of her mother dying onstage in the middle of this song]
ME: I guess that’s my answer.

MANAGERS: Well, she can’t perform in front of a crowd, dead loss. Bye, Xia-mo!
LUO XI: To the rescue!
CROWDS: SQUEEEE!
MANAGERS: On the other hand, she does have pull.

OU CHEN: Dear Stalkers United, I would like to subscribe to your newsletter. Minions, give me every detail on that girl.

NEWS: Bla bla bla relationship?
SHEN QIANG: Nooooooooooooooo!

YIN CHENG: I’M NOT GONNA LET YOU DO IT! I DON’T CARE ABOUT MY MEDICATION!
XIA MO: I’M NOT DOING THIS FOR YOU!
ANGST: Bwahahaha!

LUO XI: When you sing, and you are afraid, just look at me. There’s no one else here, okay?
XIA MO: [finishes singing her song]
AUDIENCE: TRUE LOVE OVERCOMES ALL! INCLUDING PTSD!
ME: OH GOD, THE CHEESE.

OU CHEN: [begins his career of stalking and liver damage]
ME: Oh bb. You fail so hard at being a normal person.

ME: You know, I would die laughing if Xia-mo turns out to be his half-sister or something equally asinine. I mean, serves him right.

ME: This is where Scooby-doo would say, ‘RUH-ROH’.

Riversides are never a good sign

LUO XI: You like me, admit it!
XIA MO: … Maybe I do.
LUO XI: YAY!
XIA MO: *facepalm*

ME: There was a half-turn, a wrist grab, and at least five smirks. Muuuuuuuuuuuh.

ME: So this whole drama is about three really damaged lovestruck fools running around trying to sabotage each other?
EVERYONE ELSE: How is that different, Taiwan??

Commentary/Rambling:

- The opening episode was 90 minutes long. I was losing the will to live.

- Barbie is very good at the whole graceful and silently made of steel vibe, which surprises me, given that her breakout role was in Meteor Garden, in which there was a lot of shouting and throwing of heavy objects. OTOH, MARS pretty much consisted of Barbie being quiet and emoting through her body language.

- We’re barely past episode one and I already hate Peter Ho’s character. That can’t be good. It’s not even my bias for Huang Xiaoming speaking. I mean, this guy tells his girlfriend to stand within eyesporking range of arrows, forcibly separates people who love each other because he wants the girl, has an entitlement issue about the size of the Nile (also not just river in Egypt with this guy), and uses his money to undermine companies. It’s basically the rich boy stereotype I love to hate.

- In the original graphic novels (?) Xia-mo ends up with Peter Ho’s character, but it almost looks like they’re not leaning that way in the drama. We shall see.

- I tried to find raws in snappable form, but rmvb is a pain in the butt, so I’m working from SUBlimes’ .mp4 releases. Mea culpa on the ugliness?

Sevenses

I was going to put a sad picture here, but why be depressed all the time?

Episode 4

The city is being turned inside-out by soldiers and officers in search of Geumgae members. As a side note, we’re introduced to Hwang Joo-shik, Dong-ju’s erstwhile boss and a section leader in the royal music department. He has a penchant for taking expensive, commissioned instruments home and replacing them with older ones – which I presume will come back to bite, but not yet.

Convinced as he is that the Geumgae were responsible after all, Seo petitions Lord Oh, he of the evil teddybear look (he even comes with faux ears, oh dear). He wants to be put in charge of the hunt for Dong-yi and other miscellaneous members of the Geumgae.

As it turns out, Lord Oh has a soft spot for Seo’s straight-talking, honest ways, and allows him to do so. His nephew and all-around scoundrel Oh Yoon is not pleased.

Seo may still believe that his mentor was innocent and feels the duty to find Dong-yi, but it doesn’t seem like it at the moment.

Devastated and alone, Dong-yi spends her time sleeping in fields and occasionally stealing food. She’d gone to her now-abandoned house first, but a narrow shave with patrolmen forced her to stay on the move.

Since she’s the only (known) person with associations to the Geumgae who’s still alive, the search is pretty intense. When she’s finally spotted by soldiers during the night of the Lunar New Year festival, Dong-yi runs frantically through the streets to evade them.

Luckily for her, the festival entails a sizable crowd and many, many fireworks, so her escape can’t be followed.

Dong-yi sees other children having fun, which reminds her of her own terrible losses. Looking around, she sees that a nearby stall sells paper balloons on which children write their wishes and then send them floating into the sky, but this year, Dong-yi isn’t joining in on the festivities.

The stall owner, out the kindness, invites her to grab a balloon and write her own wishes.

We see Dong-yi write the Geumgae symbol onto the balloon (something Chun-soo had made her promise, that she would write the symbol and he would come find her). Thinking that Chun-soo and the rest of her family dead, this is a way for her to bid them goodbye. Dong-yi says, with her face turned upwards, that she will keep her promise to her father and live a happy life from now on.

(If your heart doesn’t break a little, you are not human.)

While foraging through the leftovers at an inn, Dong-yi overhears the owner catching another thief. To her shock, it’s Ge-dwo-ra, the little boy she played with. Like Dong-yi, he’s also an orphan. He had been on a boat to escape the capital with others in the Geumgae, but they were ambushed by soldiers. He was the only one who managed to escape.

Dong-yi takes him to hide near the palace, because the guards won’t search close to its walls. Ge-dwo-ra’s been on the run for several days now, and in addition to the layer of dirt, the wintry temperatures have given him frostbite.

The two children take strength from the stars in the sky, imagining that their loved ones are looking at them from above.

They’re both in pretty bad shape, but Ge-dwo-ra generously shares his clothes and scraps of food. Unfortunately, some of the meat he’d picked out of the garbage had gone bad, and now he needs urgent medical care.

Back at the office, Seo is in a foul mood, brooding on his betrayal by Choi Hyo-won. Dong-yi’s trail gets picked up at the inn where she and Ge-dwo-ra met. Despite everything that’s happened, Seo still cares enough about Dong-yi to wonder how she’s doing in the wild, in the middle of winter.

The next day, Dong-yi carries Ge-dwo-ra to a medical centre for the poor, where she’s recognized as a fugitive by one of the medical officers. Luckily, he got treated before they had to run.

With soldiers after them, Dong-yi decides that it’s better for them to split up and meet at their hiding spot. The chase lasts well into the night, with Dong-yi leading the soldiers away onto a mountain. When Seo finally does catch up to her, she begs him to let her go. Seo’s pretty stone-faced throughout her efforts at appealing to his sympathy, but he does tell her to go. It’s the only chance he’s giving her, but at least it’s a chance.

However, when he calls her father a criminal, Dong-yi isn’t willing to let it slide. She brings up the mysterious hand gesture that Jang Ok-jeong had used, in common with the murdered Inspector General. Sensing a breakthrough, or at least an important clue, Seo turns around to talk to her. Unfortunately, his soldiers catch up with him, and Dong-yi slows back away. Mountainous terrain being what it is, she falls down the slope and disappears.

Luckily for her, Seol-hee, the gisaeng introduced last episode, has sent men out to look for Dong-yi, and they get to the unconscious girl before Seo’s people do. There were hints from the beginning about Seol-hee’s feelings for Dong-yi’s older brother, and she’s refused all other advances, even from more powerful men (Oh Yoon being one of them). A flashback shows that Chun-soo had asked her to take care of Dong-yi if something went wrong with the rescue.

The plan is to take Dong-yi and Ge-dwo-ra away to some corner of the kingdom, so that they can live on in relative peace and comfort. Seol-hee’s prepared for adoption papers and passage – everything to prevent arousing suspicion.

Dong-yi refuses to go, because she wants to stay in the capital. She knows that the key to solving the mystery of the hand gesture is with the court maiden she saw, and begs Seol-hee to allow her to enter the palace. Dong-yi’s need to prove her father’s innocence overrules any objections with regards to, you know, safety or survival. She argues that the palace is the safest place in the capital, and no one would think to search for a criminal there.

Seol-hee is reluctant, but Dong-yi is nothing if not stubborn.

In a rather obvious coincidence, a girl wearing Dong-yi’s colourful ceremonial clothes was found dead. Conveniently, the body is decomposed and frozen, so the police cannot fully identify her. Rather than pursue the matter, Seo confirms the girl as Dong-yi, and lets the matter end there. His subordinate knows that he’s lying, but chooses to stay silent along with his boss.

Seo incorrectly guesses that Dong-yi must have escaped to the farther reaches of the kingdom, and resolves to find her so he can solve the mystery (to which I say, dude, good luck). He doesn’t say so, but it’s obviously safer for Dong-yi if everyone thinks she is dead, and easier for him to investigate if the perpetrators’ guards are down.

Seol-hee, Ge-dwo-ra and Dong-yi share a tearful farewell at the docks, knowing that it would be very difficult to see each other again. Greedy as he is, Hwang Joon-sik isn’t without a nurturing soul (it’s buried very, very deeply). He takes Dong-yi under his wing, having agreed to Seol-hee’s request and arranged for Dong-yi to work as a slave in the royal music department.

Being the general dogsbody of the music department is horrible and tiring, but Dong-yi applies herself to her tasks diligently.

During her first night in the palace, Dong-yi looks around at the instruments around her, and remembers Dong-ju’s first attempt at teaching her how to play the haegeum.

Predictably, she’s horrible and makes dying-cat sounds. Dong-ju jokingly tells his father that maybe she isn’t related to them after all, while Chun-soo pipes up in support of his ‘future bride’. At this, Dong-ju laughingly demands to know what right Chun-soo has to say anything like that – and Dong-yi blurts out that when she gets older, she will marry Chun-soo, just you wait!

Back in the present, Dong-yi picks up a haegeum and begins playing out of nostalgia.

So the seasons pass, and time goes by…

… and the king falls a little in love with the music.

Rambling/Commentary:

- The most indiscreet attempt at Witness Protection ever: Chung Dong-yi instead of Choi Dong-yi.

- Dong-yi’s got pretty epic survival skills, I’ll give her that.

- I’m not going to keep recapping this series, for several reasons:
a) Han Hyo-joo has about 3 expressions throughout any single episode.

b) The plot is very bare – the twists barely bend, and I always see through them, so it’s kind of like watching a James Bond movie – you know he’s going to sleep with someone, break the Doom Lever and get out of the locked room in one piece so it’s not exactly scintillating.

c) It’s difficult to find anything deep about the characters. They’re all 2D – for a while Jang Ok-jeong had that nobility vs ambition thing going on, but it’s like people in this drama flip a coin: either they’re evil or they’re not.

d) To put it bluntly, Dong-yi’s very superficial.

- OTOH! It’s an enjoyable watch (especially the “It’s either the ground or the fence, sir, choose!” bit), but there’s nothing to write home about, so I’m going to move on.

Sevenses

Isabelle Huang Ling (Chinese name: 黄龄) came highly recommended from various people on Baidu, who use the words ‘criminally underrated’ and ‘creative’ in a music industry that often prizes looks over actual performance skills. Her musical style is indeed very unique, and she possesses a plaintive yet rich voice somewhat reminiscent of older Chinese folk traditions. Her songs are a blend of pop, R&B, folk and ballads – quite versatile.

I admit, her songs take a while to get used to, due to Huang’s highly distinctive style, but I like them, so I thought I would share.

Download: [Mediafire]

Her signature song, and the eponymous single on her first album Itchy/痒 (released in 2007):

Live guitar duet for 夜来香/Fragrance of Night:

Just a reminder: my providing the songs here are purely for sampling purposes, if you do like her music, please support the artist by purchasing the album at Yesasia. This goes double for artists that are not as famous, so please don’t ‘hit and run’!

But uh, to spread the joy, have some music.

The album art is kinda … iffy. But whatevs.

Download [Megaupload]

Tracklist

01. 너 아니면 안돼 – Yesung
02. 불러본다 – Krystal, Luna
03. 스마일 어게인 – Yi Yun-jong
04. 너 였다고 – 제이엠(JM)
05. 내 사랑을 구해줘! – Pink Toniq
06. 신데렐라언니
07. 미소지으면
08. 보사노바
09. 그때 그 자리에
10. 사랑한다면
11. 뒷동산
12. 마이너 왈츠
13. 느리게 걷기
14. 후회
15. 모정
16. 내 사랑을 구해줘! (Rock Ver.) – Pink Toniq

01. Mulan’s Star/木兰星 – Jane Zhang
02. Mulan’s Love/木兰情 – Stephanie Sun

Download Mulan’s Star at [Mediafire]
Download Mulan’s Love at [Mediafire]

But I’m getting ahead of myself.

Hua Mulan, live action 2009, starring Zhao Wei.

Presenting Mulan, the fiercest of them all.

Before we start, I just need to say: RANDOMEST CAMEO EVER. I have no idea why he’s there, being the Danyu’s Singing Altar Boy of Dramatic Posturing. By the way, this is VITAS, and he can sing – the crazy starts at 1:06. I particularly like his semi-psychotic smile, don’t you?

Okay, back to the story.

The DANYU, which is a title for whomever happens to be ruling the nomadic tribes, is the tough old dude in armour. He’s pretty much been kicking ass and taking names since he’s been in the cradle, and he has two children to carry on the family tradition.

(We are playing in Opposite Land today, please enjoy your stay.)

PRINCESS ROURAN (er, on the left, not that you couldn’t tell, right?) is the soft-spoken pragmatist who wants the nomad tribes to be at peace with the various kings of the central plains. Her brother ASHINA? Not so much.

In fact, not very much at all. His hobbies include: hunting, killing, telling his men to kill prisoners of war, etc.

Daddy disapproves.

He doesn’t exactly have a cause for complaint, however, given that his son’s army is beating the Wei kingdom like drums.

Back in the Wei kingdom, we have MULAN living her life as the obedient daughter to a local war hero, who has sadly fallen on bad times and is ill into the bargain.

You will drink your medicine! Or she will know why!

Alas, the army comes calling, and he has to go into battle. She knows he’s won’t survive, he knows he won’t survive, such is life.

So Mulan does what any sensible, filial girl would do. /sarcasm

This shot breaks my heart.

You can see the point where she gives everything up, acknowledges that she may never come back to her father just so he could live out the rest of his life. And she knows that even if she does pass herself off as a man, she’ll always be alone in order to keep her secret.

Her resolution to stay aloof lasts exactly five minutes into registering at camp because…

… Homeboy TIGER recognizes his big ‘sister’, the one who’s been defending him from vicious bullies since they were three feet high. She threatens him with grievous bodily harm to keep his mouth shut and he points out that should she be discovered, they’re both headed for the executioner’s block, so there’s not much point in making threats.

On the other hand, he understands why she’s here, so he promises to help in any way he can.

Ah, friendship.

She fits right in.

No, seriously. She just ties her hair up and joins the boys in whacking at straw dummies, shooting at straw dummies and other sundry abuses of straw dummies.

(She doesn’t even change her name! I mean, how many male Mulans do you have walking around?)

What she loves best is alone time with her loyal horsey.

Fellow soldier WENTAI, being impressed with her, attempts some small talk.

At first she is not impressed.

But his charming ways wear her down.

SHE IS SO PRETTY HOW DO THEY NOT SEE??

Anyway. Camp is generally a rowdy place, though I don’t know where they get the energy after going through drills all day long. Wentai is so friendly with the others in his tent, look at that face.

Unfortunately, sometimes egos get out of hand.

Mulan does not approve.

Wentai thinks he may be in love.

And now: OBLIGATORY INTERRUPTED BATH SCENE!

Alas, that Wentai is in for a world of pain instead. But now he knows there’s a girl at camp.

Something important goes missing in camp, and the commander general orders a trip search when no one offers any clues as to where it is.

Obviously Mulan can’t do that, and owns up to stealing the command plate (having it is like holding the authority of the general). She’s hauled away and locked in a storage warehouse to await punishment.

Wentai’s cottoned on by now to the fact that she is the girl in camp, and from what he knows of her character, is sure she isn’t responsible for the theft. But his attempts at stopping the commander general do nothing.

That night, Wentai goes to meet Mulan, who makes him promise to burn her body by himself after her death so no one discovers her true identity and shame her father.

Love in the time of war, y’all.

The next morning, a conveniently timed attack by the nomad forces allows Wentai to set Mulan free.

Generalized destruction reigns.

You know, the great thing about making movies in China is that you never lack for extras. Ever.

The fight’s going badly for the Wei soldiers, but then Mulan comes riding on her horse, sword swinging against the wind, and turns the tide of the battle. She’s great at kicking butt, and Wentai is very impressed. (Well, more impressed than he already is, anyway.)

Exigencies of war means that men who die on the battlefield are cremated right away. The only thing they can keep as mementoes are their wooden dog tags, when they can be found.

It’s become something of a tradition for Mulan and Wentai to wash them (they have to return these to the families when they can, so they try to keep the blood to a minimum). She’s troubled by the implications of being a soldier in wartime, especially since she’s a much better fighter, while he tells her that she was just doing her duty.

Duty, however, is a cruel mistress.

Seasons pass, the Wentai-Mulan team do really well at fighting, and are successively promoted to generals.

However, the death toll does rise, and the frame on which they keep all the dog tags grows larger and more prominent in front of the commander’s tent. Having just come from battle, it’s a gruesome reminder of the cost of their continued victories. In a moment of frustration, Wentai says that if he could end the war, he’s willing to give his own life.

In order to keep his mind off the men they’ve just lost that day, Mulan tells Wentai that when her mother had just passed away, her father had taken her out at night to look at the stars. He’d told her that a new star appears for every person who dies, and so she would never truly lose her mother.

It’s scant comfort, but there’s not much they can do except end the war as soon as they can.

Their closeness throws a wrench in the works when Mulan and Wentai are sent on separate missions. Mulan is put in charge of escorting supply caravans when she hears that Wentai has been ambushed by a group of nomads. She’s worried enough to rush off to rescue him, but it turns out to be a ruse to lure her away.

She knows she’s made a serious error in judgment, but she cannot guarantee that the next time she won’t do the same thing: he matters too much to her.

The resulting argument puts them at a deadlock. She refuses to go into battle knowing that he could be hurt and he wants her to concentrate fully on leading her men.

And then one day he doesn’t come back from battle.

Mulan succumbs to her sense of guilt and becomes an alcoholic, leaving the soldiers to fall into disorder.

Tiger’s not willing to allow her to let herself go, and tries to keep things going while she copes with her grief. He tells her repeatedly that this is not what Wentai would have wanted.

And one day she decides that enough is enough, and goes back to fighting.

OH NO HE DIDN’T!

(I was so angry when I first saw the movie that I had to pause and walk it off. YOU LIAR I HOPE YOUR CLOTHES CAUGHT ON FIRE. ARGH.)

Mulan’s presence on the battlefield means an increase of wins for the Wei kingdom, and Ashina wants his father to mobilise all the tribes, while the Danyu is fine with the status quo.

So Ashina kills his father. (In case you couldn’t tell he was evil from the hairstyle.)

And propositions his sister, for the ‘purity of our bloodline’.

Yeah, evil.

The chief general, being jealous and also a backstabbing traitor, assigns Mulan to a lure-and-trap mission.

The location is between two mountains, which means if reinforcements don’t come, Mulan’s people are screwed.

And guess what? Reinforcements don’t come.

Mulan is injured in the retreat, and unwilling to stand aside, Wentai reveals himself. The supplies are depleted and so he feeds her his own blood to help her with the dehydration.

(I know it’s supposed to be hugely romantic that he’s basically giving up his own life for her, but really? They couldn’t find a single skin of water for the general of the army in the entire camp?)

D’aww.

D’aww some more, people, because this, being a war story, will not end well.

Ashina, rat bastard that he is, orders the execution of all the captive rearguard to take place right in front of the barricaded soldiers. They know they’re dead anyway, but they start singing. I kid you not.

Go Tiger! *sobs*

Yeah, that’s pretty much my face right there too.

Mulan knows that there really isn’t a way out for her troops unless she accedes to Ashina’s demands – hand herself over as a prisoner of war. And Wentai accepts this because he was the one advocating cold, objective soldiery in the first place.

Except he gets to cheat, because he’s the seventh son of the Wei emperor, and thus worth more than Mulan in a ransom/negotiation.

Darn.

Back in his tent of evil, Ashina proceeds to gleefully party on his ‘victory’. Wentai is still alive so he can be used to threaten his father, but he does his best to get on Ashina’s nerves, and gets strung up as a result.

You didn’t think she was just going to sit back while someone kidnaps her prince, did you?

Didn’t think so.

Writers, learn from Chuno. Why is there such a sad lack of abs in this scene?

Rouran doesn’t seem to mind the look of Wentai. Huzzah for not sleeping with your evil, war-obsessed brother!

Mulan’s figured out a little of the politics, and thinks that having Princess Rouran on her side would be useful, so she breaks into her tent at night and explains everything – her pretending to be a man to fight for her father to how she wishes this war would just end. Rouran is fully onboard with that idea, and tells her about everything Ashina’s been up to.

Plus, there’s a brief moment of being ecstatic that a woman is the famed general of the plains, who’s responsible for leading a nation to victory in war. Mulan ftw!

The next day the assassination plan goes ahead. Witness his look of utter surprise that a woman’s the one who’s been beating him. The brilliant thing is that Mulan organized the attack during a feast so no one outside notices all the noise and banging.

The tent guards must hear the struggle, but they’re Princess Rouran’s people, so Ashina’s death is probably handwaved as ‘choking on an ox bone’ or something equally humiliating.

The prince is the only one, however, who thinks they can just waltz off into happily ever after now that the warlord’s dead.

Before she goes home, Mulan and co. travel to the capital, where the emperor ties up a few loose ends: namely that being a national hero, it doesn’t matter if Mulan is a woman. (That and the general who sent her to be betrayed is executed.) He even offers her the Army Commander in Chief position, but Mulan politely refuses.

Poor Prince Wentai, on the other hand, has to watch the love of his life walk away knowing that she bought his life with a diplomatic marriage.

I love the father-daughter reunion. It makes me tear up that he’s still there to greet her at the end of 12 years, and that she’s still human enough after all that killing to be able to smile back and pretty much be his daughter again.

Homecoming is bittersweet at best – Mulan’s aged, and being a national hero doesn’t erase the fact that 12 years of her life have been passed in killing people.

Wentai comes for a visit, and even if he doesn’t say it in so many words, he wants the two of them to run away and live together.

Unfortunately, he’s taught his lesson of duty too well. She reminds him that he once told her he would die for the war to end – and now he has live for peace.

He knows that dying in war and living with someone you don’t love are completely different things (and to him, the latter is more punitive), and Wentai doesn’t want to marry anyone but Mulan. On the other hand, she won’t let him run away from his responsibilities, so she tells him that they cannot afford more warring.

She would rather he forget about her than to see more families left with nothing but bloody dog tags. Wentai understands this, at least.

He leaves.

Mulan, voiceover: Someone once said, go too far from home, and you will lose your roots; kill too many people, and you will forget yourself. If you die in battle, your life will sink into the ground like rain and vanish without a trace. If you fall in love with someone at that moment, hope will blossom once again from the earth and embrace life with passion.

Thank you, Wentai.

End

Rambling/Commentary:

- Mulan, I wish you didn’t have to give him up as well. T-T

- More than anything, I love that this movie didn’t go down the My Lady of Tragic Love route, and simply focused on Mulan as a soldier who learns to bear her responsibilities and goes on to make enormous sacrifices in face of the duty that demands them. It’s a coming of age story couched in 12 years of war.

- Also, aside from princess Rouran, pretty much everyone else was perfectly fine with getting their hands dirty (almost literally). There was no Chuno-esque nonsense of a slave girl being perfectly pristine and like untouched snow. Instead, you’ve got at least one layer of dust and grime over Zhao Wei at any time. I like that.

- Also, no fuss about the cross-dressing! I think this is the first movie/drama I’ve seen involving cross-dressing that doesn’t have the girl binding her breasts at some point. Though I do think the army drinks stupid potion every day to not notice how pretty she is.

- The film is understated, the visuals gritty (as it should be, in a constant state of war) and yet everything is so clear and beautifully shot. Well done indeed.

Sevenses

Okay, just, I’m sure y’all know this already, but the first few episodes of a sageuk is nearly always filled with what I call the path where the hero/heroine has to walk through a valley of angst and dead relatives before establishing themselves in a lifelong mission of finding out why. So, the bloodshed is expected?

*passes you pre-emptive tissue*

Episode 3

Dong-yi’s father and brother are being taken away to prison. Given the fact that they were seen at the site of a yangban murder and are leaders of the Geumgae (the Sword Society), the future is really not looking that bright for them. At this point, however, Dong-yi doesn’t know anything, and most of her distress stems from seeing her father and brother carted away like criminals.

She makes to follow them, but they both make clear, through facial expressions and not-so-subtle lip speech, that she needs to get away. (I do kind of wonder at how slow the guards are being, given that she’s literally walking after them, screaming ‘Dad’ and ‘Big brother’ at them.) The two Choi men have resigned themselves, but their worst fear is that Dong-yi would somehow get herself caught up in this and executed as well.

It’s a legitimate fear, given how people in power like razing entire villages to the ground for the putative mistake of one person.

Ahem. I digress.

Fortunately for Dong-yi’s continued survival, that Daoist soothsayer from last episode comes back and keeps her quiet as the procession of soldiers make its way to the central prison.

It’s the third time we’ve seen him, and from his apprentice’s reaction, it seems like he’s been taking an interest in Dong-yi and following her around. (Or at least her notable aura with its clashing futures.) Keep an eye out, since he seems to be relatively accurate with his predictions and thus it won’t be the last we see of him.

He takes Dong-yi to an abandoned pavilion, where a frantic Chun-soo finds her. (Baby, what happened to not taking candy from strangers??)

Dong-yi’s completely in pieces by now, and wants to know why he saved her, since she’s pretty much your average stranger. The soothsayer tells her that her aura predicts great things, and that everything will turn out to be alright, so both she and Chun-soo take their leave.

His apprentice asks him, once again serving as the audience’s mouthpiece, whether Dong-yi will be alright, and the soothsayer can only shake his head and sigh. According to him, everything hinges on the next few days: Dong-yi needs to survive in order to come into her own. To which I say: Dude, that goes for everyone else as well. Stop fronting!

Poor Inspector Seo is taking it hard. Father and beloved mentor gone on the same day! He blames himself for both: asking his father to involve himself in politics, and for trusting someone who was apparently lying to him from day one.

He’s not completely blindsided into passivity by his grief, however, as he notes that Oh Yoon has forbidden him all contact with Choi Hyo-won. Seo’s also been taken off the murder cases and is the subject of an internal investigation, but that’s just a formality given how close he was to the apparent suspect.

During the investigation, Seo shows that he still has faith in Choi Hyo-won, as he refuses to answer any and all questions until he has met with the latter. It’s a brave but terribly risky move on his part, as this could potentially implicate him in his own father’s murder, in addition to making him look unfilial.

He is aware of how badly it looks, and agrees to exile himself to a distant prefecture as soon as investigations wrap up. (The actor has an awesome face of iron resolve, I have to admit.)

As part of the ongoing campaign to bring as much angst as possible into the lives of the main characters, Seo is show a notebook with his particulars written down. It was seized during the raid on Geumgae headquarters, and serves as a final piece of proof to turn Seo against Choi Hyo-won.

And it works, wonderfully, as both men confront each other in the prison and neither is able to really say what is on their minds. Seo asks if Choi really killed his father, yearning with every fibre of his being for a denial, while Choi regrets ever involving Seo and causing him this kind of pain, so he goes with a noncommittal apology instead.

(This sort of thing drives me crazy. Bad communication kills in kdrama, people!)

Hurt, Seo then piles on his insecurity at having been lied to all these years, and demands to know if Choi had only been mocking him and taking advantage of his admiration.

On the same night, Dong-yi and Chun-soo make a fugitive’s home of it near the ruins of the Geumgae headquarters. She’s (not unreasonably) shaken by the day’s events, and rues her disobedience to her father. Chun-soo, in a move that warms the cockles of my jaded heart, takes little Dong-yi’s hands and promises her that everything will be alright.

And he adds that he’s never lied to her ever, so she should trust him.

Apparently Chun-soo’s foolproof plan for alrightness involves jailbreak. (Omg insert facepalm.) He knows Choi Hyo-won told him to stay away, but knowing also that the execution date has been pushed up to noon the next day, Chun-soo is unable to stand and do nothing.

There’s also an emotional reunion with Ge-dwo-ra’s father, who turns out to also be a member of the Geumgae. (Are you surprised? Say no.) He and the thirty-odd remaining members will rush the prisoner escort the next day and hopefully escape to safety.

While out buying munitions and other things needed for the attack, Dong-yi encounters a palace maid who used the same hand signal as the murdered noble. (The honorific title used here is slightly higher ranked than just a plain maid but I haven’t been able to find an approximation, unless it’s court lady, and that sounds like she’s an ajumma, which is so not the case, so…)

This girl, as we go on to discover, is Jang Ok-jeong, aka Jang Hui-bin of queen-ousting fame. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

Naturally intrigued as to why she also knows the Secret Handshake (sorry, couldn’t help myself), Dong-yi follows the girl.

Dong-yi sees that she’s dropped a butterfly pendant, and picks it up, but discovers that the girl is nowhere to be seen. (Crouching maid, hidden ninja?) (Sorry, couldn’t resist.)

Anyway, Jang Ok-jeong comes out from behind Dong-yi and thanks her for giving back the pendant, adding that it’s very precious to her. When her escort of royal soldiers show up, Jang reveals that she recognizes Dong-yi from all the wanted posters, and gently reminds her to stay away from official personages, as they will know who she is faster. Then she turns around and distracts her guards so Dong-yi can make her getaway.

This encounter tells us several things: Jang Ok-jeong did not start out evil and plotty, she’s familiar with subterfuge, and I am surprisingly taken with the antagonist of this show.

The next morning Chun-soo tells Dong-yi to follow along with one of the Geumgae ajusshis quietly to the outreaches of the kingdom and that he’ll come for her when everything is over. Dong-yi is more sensibly dressed in boy’s clothing now, and nods cheerfully.

The audience, being wise to kdrama patterns, have by now inferred that Chun-soo is going to be separated from Dong-yi for a lot longer than a few days, and sob accordingly.

The rescue plan goes as well as can be expected, by which I mean, the Geumgae manage to break out the prisoners, but are chased to a cliff-top and killed by royal soldiers.

Everyone dies.

Chun-soo, utterly defeated, falls off the cliff.

Yes, that cliff. (He’s the second male lead, and will make a comeback, but just uh, this cliff seems pretty difficult to survive, even if one falls into water without life-threatening injuries – and you’re not Bella Swan? But of such stuff are the plots of sageuks made.)

Dong-yi hears of the execution of Geumgae leaders from gossiping boat passengers and runs out, following the trail of blood all the way to the cliff.

Most of the bodies have been cleared away, but it’s pretty obvious what happened here. Dong-yi finds a little cloth pouch that she had sewn for her father lying on the ground and Chun-soo’s shoe, both dirty with blood, and realizes that she has just lost her entire family.

The all-knowing daoist soothsayer is now invited to Lord Oh’s house (by a retinue of soldiers, way to not freak your guest out) for a reading. Turns out Lord Oh wants to know if Jang Ok-jeong is worth supporting, as the daughter of a South faction member and uncommonly smart and pretty as she is.

He tells Lord Oh that Jang has a singularly regal face, and is destined for great things (meaning royal status). He adds that for someone like her, becoming a mere court lady is only the first step to the ‘ultimate ascension’. (Okay, the more I listen, the more he sounds like a crackpot.)

However, out in the garden, the soothsayer has words of caution for Jang. He’s seen the same great destiny in someone else’s face, and warns her that if they were to meet, Jang would inevitably become that other woman’s shadow (uh, too late).

End.

Rambling/Commentary:

- I have to say, I’m fairly skeptical about the inclusion of all this soothsaying into the drama. As a firm believer of deciding your own life, I think it makes the stories weaker if destiny gets shoved into the mix – as if their interactions were foreordained from the very beginning, and not the results of the different choices they made in the course of their lives.

- Besides, I’d like to give Jang Hui-bin the credit of wanting to fight for her position in the court to her, and not some ‘fate of greatness’.

Sevenses

The reason I ask is because I changed the layout lately (if you’re on RSS or syndication you probably haven’t noticed yet). The reason is simply for better recapping, as this style has the widest columns of the ones I’ve tried.

I can’t change the colours, unfortunately, but if you have trouble reading, or other things you’d like to bring up, now’s the time.

Sevenses

Hey, now that Photobucket has stopped kicking itself in the head, figuratively speaking, we can has screencaps.

Watching this scene, I was thinking about how awesome Dong-yi would be as Iljimae. Think about it, she’s just as smart as he is, has a very strong sense of justice, and no one would ever, ever suspect it.

Episode 2

So last episode they left off with a cliffhanger, as Dong-ju and Chun-soo split up to search for Dong-yi, who seemed to have vanished in thin air. Her father, who turns out to be the leader of the Sword Society, calls for a general meeting. (Yeah, who thinks this is going to get him in trouble with his trusting and trusted student, Inspector Seo?)

As it turns out, Dong-yi is perfectly safe, to the bafflement of her pursuers. They’d been poised to snatch her from her house, but servants from a yangban household were already there, and took her to the residence. Turns out they’re in search of a ‘maiden greeter’, who’s basically a girl servant picked especially to greet clan families on the first day of Lunar January. The girl they’d previously selected had fallen ill at the last minute, so they need a last-minute replacement.

Dong-yi’s thrilled, because this means she gets to keep the pretty formal clothing a greeter wears. When the lady of the house hears that Dong-yi is of common birth, however, she scolds her servant and tries to send Dong-yi away. The latter isn’t about to give up, and demonstrates her intelligence by reading the greetings out loud – but it turns out the servant had written them badly and Dong-yi ends up correcting him on his use of hanja (as opposed to hangul, the phonetic alphabet).

Greatly impressed, the lady of the house agrees to let Dong-yi pass on the greetings. She tells her that it’s very important to do them correctly, as her own daughter will be marrying up into the yangban family Dong-yi will visit.

Dong-yi reassures her that she’ll show up on the Lunar New Year, though we all know she’s just in it for the pretty clothes. (That is not to say she won’t do a good job. She’s just got different priorities.)

Dong-yi makes her way home, completely unaware of the dangers she barely dodged. Dong-ju, who has been searching all this while, grabs her and takes her to Ge-dwo-ra’s house. She isn’t told why it’s necessary, but is told to stay put, inside the safety of Ge-dwo-ra’s house.

Papa Choi is relieved that his daughter is safe, but he knows there’s more going on under the surface than just a cover-up, so he delegates different people in the Sword Society to figure out just what is going on.

He wants intel on the nobles who were killed, whether they had any enemies, and why the Sword Society was chosen as scapegoats. The first step, of course, is to get at the official records, which are placed in the palace. Dong-ju manages to sneak in, with the help of well-placed repairmen, and copy the relevant info.

Chun-soo is given special protecting Dong-yi duty. Papa Choi basically tells him that he trusts her with him, because he’s as good as family, and because they need someone to look after her if both Dong-ju and himself are killed. It’s a telling moment, that Choi Hyo-won is making this sort of request – indication of his awareness of how much danger they’re courting.

During the night, the murdered officer had been autopsied and the cause of death determined to be stabbing. Seo’s subordinates came back from checking up on Choi Hyo-won and report with the worrying news that they are nowhere to be seen, Seo worries that they too have fallen to the mysterious assassins.

Unfortunately, the Choi family’s absence is taken as a motive for something else. Oh Yoon orders his men to post wanted portraits for both Choi Hyo-won and Dong-yi, citing their participation and strange disappearance as ‘evidence’ for their involvement in the officer’s murder.

Meanwhile, Dong-yi is going crazy because she might miss the Lunar Year deadline, and therefore not get the pretty clothes at all. And this is where bad communication kills, because had she been told (come on, she’s smart enough for the truth) the gravity of her confinement, Dong-yi would have happily stayed home.

In order to get out of the house, she persuades Ge-dwo-ra into pretending he has some sort of acute stomachache – he thinks she’s going to buy roasted meat kabobs for him. That way Dong-yi can go out while pretending to run out for the doctor.

Instead, Ge-dwo-ra’s dad comes in with a folk remedy: cow manure! Granted, it’s diluted, but supposedly it’s proof against all sorts of intestinal ailments. (By making the person vomit endlessly??)

Ew.

Faced with the prospect of drinking dung, he caves and tells his dad that it was all Dong-yi’s idea, in order for her to sneak out.

Naturally this gets Dong-yi into big trouble with her dad, who wants to know why she can’t just behave like she used to. (Not to rain on your parade or anything, Papa Choi, your daughter may be many things, but obedient isn’t one of them.)

Anyway, Dong-yi has had enough of being cooped up, and shouts at her father. She wants to have pretty clothes, to feel the silk against her skin and know that people look at her with respect… which her father can’t give her right now.

Aww. I bet papa Choi is feeling pretty awful right now. (But seriously, just tell her why she needs to stay inside. Like, I don’t know, the wanted poster?)

At night, Seo thinks over his confrontation with Oh Yoon and comes to the conclusion that it’s too deep for him, and that he needs his father’s help. It’s a rather dangerous step, involving more powerful courtiers, but at this point it’s the only thing to be done.

While walking in the street, he bumps against a Sword Society member, who passes him a note, in the best of Bond traditions. It’s for a midnight meeting under an old pine tree. (More suited to lover’s meetings than secret political discussion, but uh, okay.)

While Seo’s glad that his mentor’s alive and well, he’s somewhat disturbed by the tone of his conversation, which comes down to ‘I’ll figure out what’s going on and kick them in the head’.

As agreed, Seo seeks out his father, who used to be a prominent court official, but who has since retired to enjoy the small things in life. After his son’s explanation, he agrees to step in and report to the king.

… to which I say, uh-oh.

Because when people try to get the king involved in a sageuk, it’s never a good thing.

Yeah, what I said.

Choi Hyo-won’s messenger gets caught, and it all goes downhill from there.

Dong-yi’s words struck home, and papa Choi watches yangban families walk by. He’s holding a set of brightly coloured silk clothing for his daughter, and I guess he intended to give them to Dong-yi as an apology for making her stay inside for so long.

Unfortunately for Chun-soo and papa Choi, Dong-yi has taken the opportunity to run off.

At the same time, an urgent message informs them that Seo Yong-gi’s father is in danger, and, stuck between a rock and a hard place, papa Choi chooses to go rescue Lord Seo first.

(Repeat after me: sageuks never begin without a 50% mortality rate.)

Dong-yi goes off to greet the yangban family, dressed from head-to-foot with rainbow-coloured finery. Walking hand-in-hand with the maid, she shows off her clothes to her heart’s content.

Oh, baby Dong-yi. Enjoy this, because it’s the last bit of fun you’re likely to get for a long time.

o.O It’s evil teddybear grandpa! (Conventionally known as Lord Oh.)

I should have know, this is the kdrama world, after all.

He’s actually very impressed with how smart and adorable she is, and asks that when his daughter-in-law becomes formally part of his family, that she follow as a servant.

As she explains that her name is Dong-yi and she actually isn’t part of the family’s retinue of servants, you can literally see Lord Oh rub his hands together and cackle (deep, deep inside).

It’s like Christmas come early, since his people are currently combing the city to find her – and here Dong-yi is, squarely in the palm of his (figurative) hand. Ah, evil grandpa, I shake my head at you.

It’s custom to treat the messenger to delicacies (or at least Dong-yi’s reaction makes one feel like it’s a veritable feast), and so she settles down to eat happily. While Dong-yi is in the room, Lord Oh calls for the police to be sent here, and prepares to be wildly surprised that a fugitive has been found on his grounds.

As expected, the Sword Society’s rescue attempt goes badly awry. They arrive much to late to do anything about Lord Seo, who has been killed. But thanks to Oh Yoon’s efforts, they do get blamed for the death.

A rain of arrows kills most of the people Choi Hyo-won brought, but the rest are captured and brought to the prefectural police.

Back at the Oh residence, a full-scale search is underway for Dong-yi. Luckily, she’s in the kitchens asking for the food to be wrapped up for her family, so she manages to hide near the back of the residence when she overhears the soldiers looking for her.

Dong-yi quickly makes her way to the outer wall and flips herself over, quietly moving through the snow to get as far away as possible.

A lone officer, led by one of the family servants, catches up to Dong-yi near the Oh residence, but luckily for her Chun-soo gets there in time, pretending to be her servant. The officer, confused by the cognitive dissonance of a commoner girl and Dong-yi with her finery, lets them go.

He makes sure to stash her away in some very deep reeds, and tells her to wait for him until he can find her father and brother. Dong-yi’s not sure what’s going on, but she knows it’s serious, so for once she stays put and doesn’t argue.

Unfortunately for her, both Choi Hyo-won and Dong-ju have already been captured. As the commander shows them the ill-fated messenger, the men of the Sword Society realize that they’ve been played.

Well, just to up the angst meter, Seo Yong-gi arrives after a hard gallop, and takes one heartbroken look at his mentor – the proof seems solid that Choi and his fellows killed Lord Seo.

Ah, what would kdrama be without a journey of angst for each and every one of its leads?

Chun-soo is discovering the remnants of his betrayed friends. The meeting place is burnt into a husk, most of its members killed, and even papa Choi himself is being sent off to prison.

(Yeah. Bae Soo-bin is a kickass actor.)

Chun-soo wants to take out his knife and start laying waste to the royal guards, to free his leader and best friend, but they both tell him not to. I suppose they’ve discussed all this beforehand – but papa Choi needs at least one of them to stay alive, and free, so he has no choice but to watch from the crowds.

NO BABY GIRL DON’T LOOK!

AUGH.

NO DON’T SHOUT ‘DAD!’ & ‘BIG BROTHER!’ OUT LOUD, STOP! IT’S LIKE YOU WANT TO GET CAUGHT, DONG-YI. DON’T!!

*facepalm*

End.

Rambling/Commentary:

- From these two episodes, we already know that Dong-yi is a loving and lovable little girl who doesn’t let anyone get away with taking advantage of her. She’s also resourceful in a tight pinch and smarter than average. So yeah, Jang Hee-bin, you’re going to have an uphill battle on this one.

- All the Chinese people out there who went ‘rofl’ when they first watched historical kdramas and heard everyone calling the royals ‘mother’, please raise your hands. *raises hands*

- I spent almost 2 hours on wikipedia getting all the Yi dynasty factoids straight, no joke. But that is also because wikipedia is a vacuum that pretends to be harmless and full of information and then it gets a hand on your wrist and never lets go.

- I’ve posted this elsewhere, but I think it’s worth saying twice: Dong-yi contains inaccuracies, due mainly to the fact that she was so insignificant: not much remains known besides her clan name and the fact that she was a slave-servant in the palace (seriously, mention slave in front of her son the king and you’re screwed), so almost everything in the drama that’s about Dong-yi herself is made up – Jang Heebin is the more interesting character, by far, but they wanted a villain, so…

Given the fact that she did not follow Queen Inhyeon after her exile, it’s surmised that her position was lowly enough to not matter (all the important maids followed, whether they wanted or not), and she was only promoted to Sookbin after the birth of a royal son, so her survival in the palace may well be due to a combination of discretion and low enough status not to disturb any great movers or shakers in the noble factions. All this indication of Dong-yi being a vivacious darling, bla bla, is just to make the character interesting, and also, um, Sukjong was apparently very into skirt chasing.

Dong-yi’s son, Yeongjo, was raised mostly by Sukjong’s third queen, not his own mother, and he saw Queen Inwon as his own mother – went out of his way to be the perfect Confucian son (to be fair, she also favoured him over the crown prince, who was Jang Heebin’s son).

I’m not knocking the drama – I actually like this tough and smart female protagonist trend, but it’s a valid note, I think, to remember that historical dramas, while rooted in history, are still fictional.

Sevenses