Overheard

Note: Under construction and unfiltered like woah.

On finals:

That’s not a word, that’s an ancient scroll of prophetic doom that’s been handed down from generation to generation, and every time it’s opened, entire cities fall under its ponderous weight and students DIE.

Also, it may possibly be written in Arial font.

On Arthurian Legend:

Hey, I thought it was all about Arthur being the best king evar and Gwennie being a slutbitch with He-Who-Cannot-Keep-His-Lance-in-His-Pants and thus ruining the whole happy circle of lovely gay knights. And Mordred has a grudge, possibly due to having 5 magnificently adept bros that he fails to be able to compete with. Magical sister Morgana sort of lurks on the side being morally ambiguous while Morgause is like, AHAHA I KEEL-A YOU AND-A YOUR CASTLE AND-A YOUR KNIGHTS AND-A RULE-A FOREVA.

Obviously I was wrong.

On Twilight, as a series:

Bella wants to have sex with Edward but Edward wants to get married to Bella first but Bella doesn’t want to get married super early but Edward won’t have sex with her without being married and Bella is perfectly okay with dying and spending the rest of her life as a vamp but somehow it is not okay to get married at the tender age of 18.

On procrastination:

And lo, in all the land there were only three days left until an exam that would determine whether Sevenses passed or failed out of med school, and the God of Procrastination said, let there be Merlin, and the internet.

Thus it passed that a weekend was wasted, while the Buddha of Good Marks sighed and wrote another name on his scroll of FAIL.

On the concept of spare time:

Spare time is a common device used to delude students and the general working population into actually working. It does not exist except in conjunction with perfect moments, non-melty ice cream, unicorns, and world peace.

On myself:

Actually, my life’s philosophy can probably be summed up as “Where’s the food??”

On Spencer Reid, of Criminal Minds:

So the BAU team has this freakishly smart geek who speaks in paragraphs when a monosyllabic answer will do, is hypercaffeinated (but that goes for all cop shows) and recites government reports for fun. He is also the hottest one on the show.

Ah, CM. Be mine.

On a bookstore that doesn’t carry anything by Keats:

Fail!Bookstore probably lurks on streets, hoping to entice hapless readers into a den of ignorance and illiteracy via a complete lack of Keats.

And when it does find a victim… it will never let go.

On Professors who’ve mastered the art of droning:

I try to listen to the lectures but it eventually turns into ‘bla bla bla’ so obviously I end up facedown on my computer, drooling blissfully out the corner of my mouth. Eventually I wake up, blinking blearily at the screen and think, “Wait, this isn’t the same ‘bla’.”

On poutine:

Some days you look at the deliciously fatal concoction of fries, gravy and cheese and think, “Fuck my cardiovascular system, I am taking this bitch down.”